When I see that it is Friday I give a little cheer, no school run, no early breakfasts, no getting dressed (just me?) for a whole 2 days. Weekends are my favourite, staying in our PJs till gone noon, slobbing out watching films, no-one caring if breakfast/dinner/tea all merge into one. And obviously spending lots of precious time with my small people.
No deadlines, no schedules, no school bells or rush hour traffic, just us in our bubble.
Until I pull out the book bag, look through the homework book and Bam! There it is our list of jobs to do to make it through the weekend. And when I say our I mean mine, no one gives a 5 years old homework like, “write a sentence explaining how frost is formed” or “write a paragraph about an animal who lives in a cold climate and list 10 things about this animal” without expecting the parent is going to have to be searching through trusty google to find these answers. And then sit for a further two hours painstakingly spelling out the words they need to write, p o l a r finger space b e a r. “No no no thats a rrrr (speaking like a pirate not an A, oh cross it out you will have to start that one again.”
No one tells you that when your child starts school, you too have to learn the alphabet phonetically, not only that , the actions that go with it. P p p (whilst blowing on my finger – I am meant to be puffing out candles apparently) O (pretending to flick the light switch on and off) L, you can imagine how long spelling out Polar bear took let alone the rest of the PARAGRAPH!!
Spring is here.
This weeks was one of the tamer weeks, only 4 tasks to complete, doable I thought. In recent weeks there has been 8 tasks which I had to literally set a timetable up to complete.
This weeks topic was Spring. We (Sorry Oscar should I say) had to look at plants in the garden or in the park and discuss the life cycle and then he had to draw or paint his favourite flower. Well we kind of bypassed the garden/park bit on this occasion but in our defence it was really miserable and wet out, which we found out later on. So we chatted (discussed) the life cycle of plants. Basically I told him that in winter a lot of the plants are dead, without googles help I am afraid I do not know much more than that. So I set him of on something we can do easily, paint a picture. Getting all excited I began to pull out Oscar’s paints he got for Christmas, the ones I’ve not really been letting him get out because there for ‘best’. Oscar shrugs and tells me his favourite flower is a daisy and that he is just going to draw in and then colour the yellow middle in with felt tip. Well I sigh, least that it one activity down. 3 to go.
The second was maths, it asked you to draw how many flowers each person had to help you work the answer out, but Oscar had already worked the answer out before we had chance to get his felt tips back out so he just wrote 5 on his sheet.
The third activity was “go to a shop or garden centre and look at packets of seeds, talk about what they might grow into.” I read further on and activity 4 is, “plant some seeds or bulbs, what do you think will happen.”
What? I have to actually leave the house? But its Sunday, I was so cosy in my PJs and mum bun and baby sick on my shoulder that I may or may not have wiped off since last night.
Okay so feeling productive we have to do this homework and make a go of it (I could do with Nappies and coffee anyway). We all make ourselves presentable, washed and dressed and leave the hours a good few hours later. I get out the pram in the rain, swearing as I trap my finger in it. Nalah is crying, she did not want to come out in the rain either.
We make our way to the shops, getting blown away by the distant cousin of Storm Doris.
Once in the shop I am pleasantly surprised to see a full wall of seeds (it must be a spring thing?) and even more happier with the prices, phew so just 50p for a pack of seeds, that should do. Oh but no wait, I need plant pots, I will need a trowel, gloves? £2.50! £2.50, no we won’t bother with the gloves we can just wash our hands. So we choose, some sweet peas, sweet Williams, sunflowers and carrots (god knows how you grow carrots, but we can give it a whirl). So we head off back home, unload the wet pram and now dripping rain cover and even grumpier baby into the car.
Once we are home luckily Nalah has a little nap so I grab that opportunity to start getting all green fingered, “come on Oscar shoes on coat on quickly we need to do this now” I shout. So there we are in the rain having a bloody lovely time, me trying to take photos for ‘evidence’ trying not to test the waterproofness of my phone out too much. Then I asked Oscar to write a sentence about what we had done, cue the jolly phonics and long drawn out spelling marathon (no one needs to know I had to use spell check to spell out favourite.)
The whole experience could have been over there, just 2 hours later and we could have been finished, well Oscar was. Lucky him. I know had to evidence what we had done. So for me this was just the beginning.
So I am no tech savvy at all. But because Carl has just recently bought me this laptop, and I know where the printer is I think I can save a few quid and a trek into town to print instant at boots, (So much easier.) So first I think all I need to do is get the photos from my phone to the laptop, easy you may thing. No actually apparently it is impossible! Well without social media it seems. So first I plug my phone in, nope, that doesn’t want to work, unrecognisable.
Then I think maybe bluetooth, both phone and laptop are paired, yes, I am doing great this might actually work. Nope, sending failed.
Right I know email, that is easy I will just make a draft and then pull the photos from that, I write the email, open it on my laptop, suddenly no WIFI. Not connected, unable to connect. What?!
As you can imagine this has already taken sometime and Nalah is waking from her nap.
I turn the laptop off hoping it might reconnect when I turn it back on, nope! It decides now is a good time to do a full update, taking a long 50 minutes! So once it has updated the internet is back working, phew! But no emails or drafts are showing. So I go to my last plan, I really didn’t want to have to, good old Facebook upload. So I apologise to my Facebook friends as they really don’t need to see Oscar’s homework in their news feed. And finally I can pull the pictures.
2 hours later and I have 4 pictures of Oscar planting his seeds on my laptop, now to print! This requires a lot more huffing puffing and swearing as I have to install, reinstall and download god knows what to make the printer and computer connect. But somehow I manage it and suddenly there are pictures splurging out of the printer. I did it!
Okay so the print quality was crap, the ink was barley there, the black was green and there were random bright red and Oscar thought his face looked just like his grandads. But they were there stuck in his book with all his writing and tiny daisy drawing. Finished! 4 hours and 30 minutes of my sunday it took, £4.50 it cost in materails, but hey we might get a pretty graden, and Oscar is certain to get an awesome smiley face stamp next to his work so happy days!
Update – Oscar was sick in the night, great big beans stuck to his face, so unfortunatly his homework won’t be needed today! Nooooo!!!